So you have kids and you are getting a puppy. Everyone is asking ‘are you nuts’? You are probably getting cautionary talks from concerned family.
I can say it is NOT for everyone. It is A LOT of work. And if done incorrectly there will be issues and someone will get hurt. But it can be done. I raised Great Danes and Australian Shepherds with my toddlers and babies. I was brought up with puppies as a baby/toddler. Here’s what I can tell you.
Get ready for a few months of hell. This will be hard. Really hard. You are going to be tired. It could be simultaneously both the worst and best decision you’ve ever made. You will second guess that decision. At these times, stop. Take a breath. Gather yourself. Press on. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Stick to it and you will have a fantastic new member of the family.
Here are some rules that will help you out - and give you a few things to think about.
HELP!
Stick together and be consistent. When you have support, it is far less tricky. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. Mostly - be consistent.
SAFE PLACES
Set definite boundaries. Each have their own spots that the other can’t go. Kids aren’t allowed in the puppy pen or crate (definitely never the crate). Puppy isn’t allowed in the kids room (or wherever you choose). Each needs a place to go to feel safe and to be alone.
ROUTINE
Both kids and dogs thrive on routine. Make one that works for the family. Stick to it. Ensure that nothing overlaps to the point that the kids and pup are left alone together.
MY TOYS, YOUR TOYS
Any toy that is on the floor is the puppy’s. Teach kids to pick up their toys or keep them in their own space. There is something special about Barbie doll legs that pups just LOVE. Watch out for those hair ties and kid socks! They will cause intestinal blocks, possible costly surgery, and pain. Make sure pup has a variety of toys. Switch them out every few day to keep them interesting.
KIDS ARE NOT TOYS
Puppies don’t need to play with kids. They play with toys. Puppies only get pet by kids when they are quiet and still. There should never be any rough housing on either side. Your puppy jumping up and mouthing is never allowed. Your child should not be putting your pup in a head lock. Chase games are never good. Kids crawling after pups don’t usually end well either.
DON’T PICK UP PUP
Kids don’t get to pick up the puppy. Both will get hurt in this interaction.
INSIDE VOICES PLEASE
Kids need to learn to speak quietly and move slowly. Good luck. But herding dogs go after things that move. Dogs love to bite high pitched sounds. Kids are small, fast, move erratically, and are loud and have squeaky voices. Very tempting indeed...
NO TOUCH TIME
Teach kids to not bother the puppy when it is in its crate, chewing on a toy, eating. Again -direct supervision AT ALL TIMES they are together.
SHARK MODE
Puppies go through a ‘bite inhibition’ stage. They are learning how to bite correctly. They need to cause a reaction in order to learn how to not bite hard as an adult. This stage is very individualistic and pups go through it at their own pace. Some quickly get over it, some do not. Being firm, fair, and consistent is key through this. Only allow kids to pet the puppy directly from a nap at this stage - both calm and quiet. Make sure you are the one doing the interactions. You can handle a puppy bite, kids not so much. Do not allow pup access to moving kids now - leash them or xpen them (the pups, not the kids... though I did have a leash for toddlers and used it with my high energy son... worked a charm.. great for parking lots and stores as well.).
EXERCISE
Ensure both kids and pup gets plenty of outside exercise and mental stimulation. Use the time and take both for a walk.
FAMILY DINNER TIME
Try to involve the kids in puppy training at meal time. Kids can give the treat by dropping it on the floor. This builds a bond and respect from the pup. Realistically you will have a lot of hands-on here.
CLOSE SUPERVISION
This means hands on!! I can’t stress this enough. It does not mean sitting in a chair belting out commands. It is sitting with either the pup or the kid in your lap. You are directly involved, controlling the space at all times.
NEVER PEE ALONE AGAIN
Never leave the two unsupervised. Ever. Not even for a quick pee. Have your ‘family room’ (room where the family is free to be together with pup under direct supervision) gated off. If you have to go to the loo or your phone is ringing in the next room, the pup or the kid goes with you. Do not leave them alone together.
NAP TIMES ARE FOR TEACHING
Take advantage of naps. Use the kid’s nap time to get some puppy training in. Use puppy nap time to get some kid teaching in. If both are napping simultaneously, the stars have aligned, sing a soft hymn, say a quick prayer - and join them in a nap.
MAKE IT YOURS
Base special family rules on the individuals. IE Our pup would join us for a book at bed time. Both the kid and pup were very subdued at this point. At any time did either start jumping in the bed or trying to bite clothing, I unceremoniously left the room and put pup away. The kid learned if he got hyper we didn’t get to finish the book and the abrupt end to the night time ritual was a shock to him. The pup also learned if she wanted to be with us, she had to be quiet. Some pups are too high energy for this activity. Some kids may not be able to settle down with a puppy joining them in bed.
PRAISE THE GOOD
It will seem like all you do is say ‘no’, ‘don’t do that’, ‘be still’, ‘be easy’. You will get stuck in everything that is wrong. Instead watch for those moments when all is right and praise them mightily. Be specific. ‘Good sit puppy’, ‘thank you for walking around the puppy’. You will see there is more positive interactions than you realize. And by praising them and bringing them forward - they will happen more frequently.
CALL ME
If all goes to hell.
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